If you’re a Kotaku common, you’re seemingly acquainted with our long-running Here’s Another Pokémon collection, curated by our stalwart weekend editor, Zack Zweizen. Zack’s taking some well-earned time without work this weekend, which suggests I’m taking the reins at the moment. (Sorry upfront, but in addition, cue maniacal laughter.) That additionally means I’m answerable for displaying you one other Pokémon.
Zack, albeit a famous fan of the Pokémon Extended Universe, doesn’t play a ton of Pokémon. I do. Today, I’d wish to unfold the gospel of the perfect one, like nobody ever was: Jolteon.
Type: Electric / Awesome
Average Height: 2’ 07”
Average Weight: 54.zero lbs.
First launched in Generation I
You would possibly instantly acknowledge Jolteon as a second-stage evolution of Eevee, a sickeningly cute runt of a Pokémon that received its own game in 2018. Though there are roughly one metric infinity Eevee evolutions by now, Jolteon, an electric-type Pokémon, can rely itself among the many unique trio, alongside the water-type Vaporeon and the fire-type Flareon. You can evolve an Eevee right into a Jolteon at any level by giving it a Thunder Stone.
There’s no purpose to attend, as Jolteon is shockingly highly effective. In addition to debatably overpowered pace and particular assault stats, Bulbapedia says that Jolteon can “discharge 10,000-volt lightning bolts.” Let’s simply put that in perspective. According to the National Automotive Parts Association, automobile batteries usually clock in at round 12 volts. In different phrases, Jolteon might energy up the batteries of [does math, hopefully correctly] 833 vehicles, often known as the precise variety of autos clogging up Canal Street at 5:00 p.m. on any given summer time Friday.
Jolteon’s chill as hell, although, and would clearly prioritize reasonably priced, accessible transit choices over senseless obedience to America’s entrenched car culture.
Sheer awesomeness apart, Jolteon hits, for me, on a extra private degree. Pokémon gamers will immediately get this, however, your rival? I’m not speaking in regards to the in-game dweeb. I’m speaking in regards to the real-world one: the one you always battle with, the one who you drive to get the other model so you possibly can commerce for the entire Pokémon of that technology. Most everybody has one. Mine occurred to be my childhood finest pal, and we saved up the rivalry for almost a decade.
Jolteon anchored my workforce. His was spearheaded by a Gengar. More typically than not, our battles would come all the way down to these two remaining Pokémon. Jolteon was quicker than Gengar, however Gengar might take out Jolteon with one hit. If I couldn’t land Thunder—a strong transfer with a 70-percent hit fee—I used to be screwed. Some matches, he’d trick me by equipping Gengar with an merchandise that prevented it from fainting in a single hit, so even my profitable hits wouldn’t do the trick. I’d counter with a paralyzing assault, which then opened an entire different can of worms in a endless recreation of likelihood.
It carried on like this for literal years, an IRL model of Gary and Ash—via center college, via highschool, into faculty (properly, on the uncommon lengthy weekends that allowed for visits). We ported, if reminiscence serves appropriately, our unique Jolteon and Gengar from technology III up via technology VI. And then, in the future, he couldn’t discover his recreation. He’d misplaced it. RIP to Gengar, an actual one.
Over the years, we saved monitor of our wins and losses. At the top, it stood at 68–68. (Don’t fear. No actual unhealthy blood right here. We’re nonetheless thick as thieves.) Life strikes apace, proper, and it’s so typically the thrill of childhood that get left by the wayside.
Anyway, you would possibly, at this level, be justifiably questioning if I co-opted Zack’s weekly characteristic for the categorical function of lastly settling a seemingly impossible-to-settle schoolyard rivalry, to which I can solely say: Pffft, please.
- Jolteon is more durable than Gengar.
- Jolteon is best than Gengar.
- Jolteon is quicker than Gengar.
- Jolteon is stronger than Gengar.
Best Comment From Last Week
“Despite loving the hell out of koalas I never could bear (haha, get it?) to put this one on my team.”
-Legless Legolas’ LEGO Lass
A really electrifying play on phrases.
Here’s Another Pokemon is a weekly look into one Pokemon and the way bizarre, disturbing, foolish, or cool it’s and why. Catch new entries every weekend and click here to see all of the past Pokemon we have covered.